Posts Tagged ‘humour’

Blogging Boy

It’s in the way that they take photographs.


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Family KnitsIn this age of consumerism, surely nothing says love more than matching hand-knitted woollen vests.Matching Yellow KnitsMake a public statement of your love this year by crafting his n’ her outfits from Women’s Weekly Family Knits (1971).

Matching Red VestsCan’t knit? Not a problem.

How about preparing a romantic meal for two from Women’s Weekly’s Cooking for Couples (1982).Cooking for CouplesPerhaps you could start the meal with an avocado entree garnished with capsicum and black olives.Avocado with Herb DressingTry a trout main, featured alluringly alongside a fern in a wicker basket in an early 80s example of food styling.Trout with CapersFinish your romantic tête-à-tête with a refreshing icy mint dessert. Don’t forget to add that essential ingredient, green food colouring.Minted IceWishing you a happy Valentine’s Day this weekend, however you choose to celebrate it.

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Vintage Sacrilege [ˈvin-tij ˈsa-krə-lij]


1. The violation or injurious treatment of a mint-condition vintage item.

I love all things vintage, however it’s recently occurred to me that some of the behaviour I exhibit towards my vintage collection may be a little less than admirable. Today, in the spirit of honesty, I reveal my top six acts of vintage sacrilege.

1. Cutting up vintage sheets to make fabric tape for gift wrapping.Fabric Tape

2. Ordering vintage Thunderbird 3 online for my son to tear open the packaging and use as a…toy. Vintage Thunderbird

3. Drilling holes into the bottom of tin kettles to convert into plant holders.

Vintage Kettles

4. Bedecking my toddlers’ beds in beautiful vintage quilt sets (not injurious but high risk).Vintage Childrens Bedding5. Dismembering vintage atlases in the name of craft.

Vintage Atlas Hearts

6. Dismembering vintage dictionaries, and other vintage books, in the name of craft. Vintage Book CraftThere…I’ve fessed up.

My deepest apologies to any lovers of vintage offended by this post.

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New Year’s Pledge

New Year's Pledge

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Today was the local government elections in NSW. When we turned up at our local school to cast our vote there was a sausage sizzle, jumping castle and a second-hand stall. I scored this gorgeous vintage Gartrell-White Ltd Australian cake tin for $2.

I love democracy.

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Peak Hour [pēk ou-er]


1. The period of the day during which family activity in the home is at its highest, children are at their neediest and parenting stamina is at its lowest.

Peak hour in our house is usually between the hours of 5pm – 7pm. It’s a period of heightened activity when multiple meals are prepared and served, eating is supervised, food messes are cleaned, baths are run, children are washed, teeth are brushed, protesting bodies are dried, pyjamas are sourced, children are dressed, hair is combed, beds are prepared, books are read and endless negotiation over lights out and sleep.

Each day when the clock ticks over to 5:00pm I have a moment of pre-emptive exhaustion. It is incomprehensible that we will survive the next few hours.

To my ongoing amazement, we always do.

Then after that last protest is heard and silence finally descends upon the house, all the things I have been adding to my ‘after the children are asleep’ mental to-do list throughout the day, just dissipate with exhaustion.

Peak hour is hardcore. It’s for people with nerves of steel.

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Lego mon·key  [ˈlɛgəʊ ˈmʌŋkɪ]


1.      A person who constructs Lego models at a child’s bidding.

The Lego revolution has started in our place. What our 2 year old son lacks in dexterity and concentration, he makes up for in dad-labour.

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There’s a scene in the film Zoolander, where the protagonist male model admits to a secret weakness. On the catwalk he cannot turn left. Only right.

Me and Zoolander, we both have our little secrets.

On a sewing machine I can only sew straight. No curves, no squiggly bits, no zig-zags. I have lived most of my adult life without even consciously realising this. I sew bunting, bags, cushion covers, pencil cases, placemats, table runners, quilts…but they’re all straight.

I had this epiphany when I tried to make a Softie this week and the finished product looked like I had sewn without my glasses on after a couple of drinks.

My husband is kind. He assures me it’s my vindictive little second-hand sewing machine that I bought from a garage sale many years ago. It’s over 20 years old, sounds like a buzz saw and only works if I use the most expensive thread and say a little prayer to the sewing gods beforehand.

I can blame my cantankerous old machine or carry it in my heart bravely like Zoolander.

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I unwittingly discovered how to get 15 minutes unbroken peace from my toddler. You can too.

  1. Give your toddler an open box of these:
  2. Enjoy the peace.

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